Sometimes there are red flags and warning signs while someone is in an abusive relationship. Oftentimes we hear about bruises, black eyes, or other physical signs. But here are some not-so-obvious signs.

• Their partner monitors what they do. This could take many forms. Sometimes it is a partner constantly calling or texting to “check in” on what their victim is doing. Other times it is an abusive partner never leaving their victim’s side. Some warning signs of this behavior is when you ask your friend to do something and they have to “ask permission” from her partner.
• One partner has financial control. Financial abuse occurs in 98% of abusive relationships. Some warning signs include hearing that your friend has an “allowance” from a partner or that they don’t have a credit card in their name. Sometimes their partner won’t allow the victim to work or will pressure victims to quit jobs. Some big red flags include abusive partners taking the victim’s paycheck, using the victim’s money without asking, stealing identities, ruining credit histories,
• Controlling behavior. Oftentimes an abusive partner will attempt to isolate their victim. These are often disguised as concern or jealousy. Some warning signs of this behavior include the abusive partner accusing the victim of cheating, so the victim refrains from talking to others to alleviate the tension. A big red flag is the partner attempting to drive a wedge in between the victim and their support network.
• Low self-esteem. If your friend has low self esteem – especially when their partner is the one often at the root of their insecurity, that’s a huge red flag. Abusers will often try to put down their victims. This can be through mocking the victim, calling the victim names, or twisting the truth.
• Emotionally unstable partners. Maybe you friend mentions that they feel like they’re walking on eggshells around their partner, especially because the abusive partner has a temper. Red flag.

If you or someone you know is experiencing some of these, please call My Sister’s House at 916-428-3271.